Black Friday

Phyllis is dead.

I am a 47 year old sales adviser in a department shop (sorry, store) in Watford. It really is glitz and glamour here.

They sell suitcases and everything.

The other day, I invented a game called Cabingo. It is a bit like curling. We take the cabin sized suitcases, two each, and try to get them as near to the crystal glasses as we can. I have to say that I have never broken anything. That does not mean that there have not been breakages.

Ikran broke an £80 vase.

Katherine broke the glass face of a clock.

Phyllis appears on page 182 of my last book, in a black and white photograph.

 

Dear Madam/Sir at First4lawyers

I was walking down the street the other day, when Andrew Castle bumped into me with a bunch of flowers.

He said sorry, but it was not ok.

I suffer from hayfever, and have been sneezing for several days.

Sorry was not enough, I would like some anti histamine.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards

Ian Carpenter

Dear Madam/Sir at American Express

I saw your advert on the television today.

Your strapline was that impossible has two letters too many. I have removed two letters and I came up with plimsoles.

Am I right in thinking that if I take one of your credit cards, I will get some daps?

I like those seventies dunlop ones, with the green stripe.

I will take one of your credit cards if that is the deal.

I look forward to hearing from you soon

Kind Regards




Ian Carpenter

Advertsidy